Sisters

 

The Sisters of Jesus Way are located in West Kirby, not far from Upton.

St.Mary's Upton is linked to the community and Pat was a friend to the Sisters.

The Cancer Christian Fellowship was set up as a joint initaitive.

The Sisters were a constant support to Pat in her last months.

They write of her last days below.

 

• The Sisters of Jesus Way website
• The Cancer Christian Fellowship

 

THE BRIDE HAS MADE HERSELF READY

 

Pat had made plans for her dying. She hoped she would be with the Sisters and cared for by her own G.P. for whom she had a deep regard. Despite increasing pain, which was becoming more and more difficult to control, she felt that she would probably live until June 2009, still three months away. Valuing her independence she was living alone in her flat. Sally, her close friend of many years kept a close eye on practical needs. The Sisters especially Marie rang her morning and evening. This was usually a long chat. The telephone conversations invariably began by Pat asking what the Sisters were doing that day but soon turned to sharing her journey with God. Always wanting to learn more she applied this to the serious business of dying. She faced her homecoming to God calmly and with anticipation although she shrank as we all do from the suffering.

 

Early in April she visited and gave communion to a ninety eight year old lady, the grandmother of Lynda, one of the Sisters. Afterwards, she came straight on to the community motherhouse to encourage and comfort in a tragic situation they were experiencing. It was costly, walking was difficult and increasingly strong drugs were only barely controlling the pain. Self-giving to the last these were probably her last pastoral visits.

 

A few days later she rang about 9.30pm one evening obviously distressed and asking for help. Sisters Sylvia and Marie were soon at her flat. Martin, an associate vicar at St Mary’s was already there. There was no alternative but to hastily pack some things and call for an ambulance. She was taken to Arrowe Park Hospital, Wirral. In the early hours of the morning she was given a bed in a surgical assessment unit.  

 

The next day she was transferred to a busy surgical ward. It was decided that there would be no surgical intervention.  It was obvious that her condition was steadily worsening. The pain was not under control and constant nausea added to her problems. Her bleak comment one day was, “What a mess I am in.” Yet she still managed to give pastoral care and support to other patients. Not a few were grateful for her presence on the ward. To the relief of friends who were literally hammering doors on her behalf as well as besieging heaven, a palliative care team based at the hospital took control of the situation. She was transferred to St John’s hospice, Tuesday April 21st.

 

No-one including Pat herself expected that this was to be her last week of life. Her beautiful single room looked out on to the courtyard. Perhaps Bishop Keith Sinclair described it best when he said that he could feel Jesus in the room. She watched some children playing outside her window.  It was a moment of peace and tranquillity. Most of the unpleasant symptoms had been quickly brought under control under their expert care. Pat’s thoughts turned to the book she was hoping to complete. She had begun this task. The next day she asked for her laptop to be brought in. By evening however her condition had suddenly and unexpectedly deteriorated. She was fully aware but could only manage to speak the odd word.

 

So began the hardest lesson of all, that of relinquishment.

 

She deteriorated further through the night. On Friday morning the Hospice contacted her relatives and close friends. One close friend anticipating the situation was already on her way to Pat before the phone call. Graeme and Philippa Skinner arrived soon after followed by Sally Shand and Martin Daly.  From that moment Pat was never left, by day or night. A hastily drawn up rota was established including stints through the night. The love of God surrounded her. After a long drive from the South of England Pat’s brother, Gordon arrived late on Friday evening. He too, apart from a few necessary hours of sleep, never left her side.

 

Early on Saturday morning those who were accompanying Pat on this final part of her pilgrimage gathered together around her bed. The hospice nurse who had special responsibility for Pat joined them. A short service was held including Bible readings, prayers, anointing with oil and the triumphant Easter acclamation, “Christ is risen”. Although her ability to communicate had almost gone, from the few words that could be understood, we knew she was fully aware of all that was happening. 

 

Visitors came and departed throughout the day mostly quietly sitting or gently talking to her. A friend from the Christian Cancer Support Group that Pat had founded who was also terminally ill arrived. Another clergy colleague came and prayed the Lord’s Prayer in Swahili.  At 10.45 pm there was a knock on the door. It was Remy and Annette Toko who had been her dear friends and colleague in the Congo.

 

Sisters Sylvia and Marie were at the hospice early on Sunday morning. The Daily Light reading that morning was read by Sylvia, “His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me”.  “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him (her) all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders”. As it was read it out loud, Pat was able to grip her hand and tried to speak.

 

Later, the Bishop of Chester, Peter Forster arrived.  As his hands folded around Pat’s hands, he echoed the voices of many when with feeling he said not once but several times, “Dear Pat”. The ancient prayers of the church from the old prayer book were read as Pat slowly slipped away from us. Sister Lynda sang quietly, “The Lord bless you, the Lord keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord be radiant with joy because of you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.”

 

Gordon slipped out to ring Pat’s sister. Marie, left on her own, sat holding Pat’s hand. There was still a grip. They had shared together often on the journey and now the last conversation took place. Pat could not speak but there was an awareness that she was in some way participating. Jesus had come, he was waiting and soon the suffering would be over. In some way it had been necessary like the suffering of Jesus but now she was refined like pure gold. The final relinquishment had taken place. That was the substance of their last chat together. Heaven was breaking through. At exactly the same time 11.30 am in far away Aru Cathedral in Pat’s beloved Congo, the Lord came to her friend Gill Brown telling her that the hour of Pat’s departure had come.

 

It was Sunday April 26th. The Lord was merciful, her sufferings were over and he had taken her home. In the providence of the Lord, Bishop Keith was near the hospice and he was soon there with his assistance.

 

Graeme Skinner had already called together St Mary’s church to pray for Pat for two hours in the afternoon. Many responded to that invitation and were told of her death by Graeme and Philippa as they arrived. They stayed in church to give to God grateful thanks for her life.

 

Meanwhile the Sisters Sylvia and Marie had an inner urge to go back to the hospice that afternoon. Pat was smiling, her eyes half open. What had she seen? What had she heard? The reading that evening in Daily Light was, “For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear”. (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints) .